Tinder ‘dream’ date turned into nightmare as sexual abuser urinated on victim


A man sexually abused and urinated a woman after a “dream” Tinder date became a nightmare.

Wesley Spalding sexually assaulted his victim while she slept and kept her awake by playing loud and repetitive music.

The 32-year-old “seemed so caring and thoughtful” at first, his victim said, but ended up subjecting her to “mental torment.”

Spalding was found guilty of assault by penetration, attempting to assault by penetration, two counts of sexual assault and two counts of coercive and controlling behaviour following a week-long trial at Hull Crown Court.

He smirked as his victim, who he met on Tinder, read out a statement on Wednesday.

The victim told the court how a dream date had turned sinister when Spalding manipulated her.

“I had worked hard and was renting my own house,” she told the court.

“I had worked hard on my confidence. Only now I can see I was the perfect target. He seemed so caring and so thoughtful.

“His manipulation impaired my judgement. It didn’t take long to go back to a shadow of my former self.

“I was sleep deprived and that kept me in a state of confusion. He did things so painful I was embarrassed to tell people.”

The woman said she experienced “mental torment” at his hands.

“I felt like I was a pressure cooker. What was a dream is now a nightmare,” she continued.

“I battle on a daily basis. I have to speak out for other victims, past, present and future who feel like they don’t have a voice.”

In one appalling incident Spalding, originally from Coventry, urinated on the woman.

The court heard he had five previous convictions for seven offences including criminal damage and harassment of a former partner.

Claire Holmes, mitigating, told the court the woman was “not particularly vulnerable” despite the fact she was naked and sleeping when Spalding assaulted her.

“She has the support of her friends, she has her own friends and she has been able to return to work,” she said.

“This defendant had his own vulnerabilities. There is reference to his depression and the loss of his job, but that is no excuse for this type of behaviour.

“It is relevant because there is reference to his struggles to show his emotional reactions which would lesson his understanding of the harm his behaviour would cause.”

Judge Mark Bury jailed Spalding for seven years, telling him he must serve two thirds of the sentence behind bars before being released on licence.

As he was sentenced, Spalding smiled.

“Your behaviour towards her changed and involved sexual, physical and emotional abuse,” said Judge Bury.

“You deprived her of sleep. You weren’t doing it for your own sexual gratification, but to exert power over her.

“You urinated on her which was extremely humiliating and degrading. There was an occasion where you threatened her with violence.

“You have shown to be a manipulator. She is young and strong and will get past this in due course.”